There’s a long standing cliché when it comes to bars and clubs of the so-called pickup line. Anyone who’s ever heard one–one choice example being “hey baby you must be tired, ’cause you’ve been running in my head all day” knows how awful they are, and completely useless for anyone actually trying to meet girls. Yet, many people make the same mistake when it comes to flirty text messages, sending something cringe worthy instead of witty and effective.
I went Googling to see what messages I could find posted on the web. Let’s look at three basic types that I found:
1. ”I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so every time you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.”
Believe it or not, this was the first flirty text I found posted at a website. It’s just as good as your old-school pickup line. Read: absolutely terrible. It’s a cheesy statement, puts way too much value on her, and unless she absolutely loves you already, it’s going to turn her off completely. Forever.
Score: 0 out of 5. Hopeless.
2. ”Stop thinking about me!:)”
This one has promise, but needs a little work. The tease behind it is a good one–rather than be gooey and complimentary towards her, it casts the guy as the cool one–but puts too much emotion in.
Note the “!” followed by “:)”…this screams forced joke to the girl. If you’re going to use something like this, you need more tension. Look at how it reads without the punctuation:
“Stop thinking about me”
Look too harsh to you? This would work really well with some girls, but runs the risk of alienating some. Here’s a happy medium:
“Stop thinking about me ”
This communicates that yes, you are joking, but without reaching too far emotionally. Just be sure that if you do use this, lay off on further smileys for a couple texts.
Score: 3 out of 5. Reaches too hard, but a small tweak will make it much stronger.
3. ”Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile …. but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?”
This one…is actually good. Note that it starts as if it’s going to be some cheesy over-the-top compliment, that would be guaranteed to fail, but then ends with the reversal.
Score: 4 out of 5. The only way to make it better is to tailor it to her using callback humor or an inside joke.
This one hits the right buttons: the guy is being funny without forcing it, he’s putting her on the spot somewhat, and it’s also noncommittal. One trap you want to avoid with flirty text messages is sending something that makes it seem like you need her to respond, because if you do that and she doesn’t respond, you lose value in her eyes.
It’s much better to send one-off flirty text messages where if she doesn’t bite, it’s not actually a blow-off. You were just sending something casual, and it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t respond. That’s the problem with sending a girl something like “hey, what’s up?”–if she ignores it or takes 8 hours to respond, it’s a clear blow-off to you. Keep the texts light and funny and you’ll avoid that trap.
Interested in how to send flirty texts and be successful with seeing her again? Check out this book, which takes you through everything you need to know about what to text her, when to text, and how to handle her both when she’s already into you and when you have to do some work to get her interested.