Maintaining the tempo of texting is important…but before you can get into managing your text message flow, you need to time when to contact her. Let’s go over that…here’s the scenario: you’ve just met a cute girl at the bar Friday night, and you want to follow up. Do you call or text?
You’re reading this site so I’m sure you know I’m going to say “text!”, but there’s a good reason for it. Calling a girl for your first contact is like going all in on a poker hand: all your chips are on the table and if she doesn’t return your call, you’re probably done. On the flip side, texting is like probing for interest…with the right first text, even if she doesn’t answer you can try again later.
Also, most 20-something women (and an increasing number of older ones) are compulsive texters, and are simply more comfortable with it than that nerve-wracking first call. After all, as scary as it can be for a guy to call her and have to make it into an exciting talk…every attractive girl has had awful drawn-out phone talks to nowhere, and so is cautious about getting into them again. Like it or not, all men pay the price for those who can’t handle themselves with girls.
Now that we’ve agreed on texting her, the next question is…when? I love Swingers (the movie, for the culturally clueless as much as the next guy, but the era of waiting “exactly two days” is done. For girls that you meet in nightlife–ie. bars or clubs–I’ve found your best bet for the first text message is within 24 hours.
If you meet her at 11 PM on a Friday, you can even send the first one as you go home at last call. If you’ve met the girl during the day or through friends, you can safely bump that window of time up to 48 hours…but again, I would not drag it out.
I can already hear cries of “but isn’t that needy!”, so let me put this way: playing super aloof may sound like good advice to guys who used to come on too strong to girls, but it’s a trap of its own making. When you’ve met a girl with alcohol on the table–which is true for most nightlife and house parties–even if she was into you at the time, there’s a risk of her forgetting you quickly…especially if she’s given her number out to four other guys that night.
Instead, you’re better off sending that first text early…and starting your text flirting on the right foot. From there, you can get more creative with your timing and content of messages. At the same time, never forget this: you text her to get her to meet you out, as real gains are only happening in person. The flirty text is just another tool on the path to having women in your life, though it’s now a critical one.
Interested in how to send flirty texts and be successful with seeing her again? Check out this book, which takes you through everything you need to know about what to text her, when to text, and how to handle her both when she’s already into you and when you have to do some work to get her interested.